About

Hi,

I’m Dom, and I identify as neurodivergent. Specifically, I identify with the traits associated with being autistic.

There, I’ve said it. Out loud. Well, OK, I’ve written it on a page somewhere in the vastness of the Internet. But you know what I mean.

This site is part of a personal project to explore how neuroscience can help us all to access the full power of our truly amazing brains.

I’m on a journey of discovery, and I’d like to share what I find. This journey is just beginning, and I have no idea where it will take us.

About This Project

Despite most external appearances, I’ve had a lifetime of learning difficulties and social challenges that have added significant friction to my interactions with the rest of the world. Without help, the energy expended coping with this friction can be exhausting.

However, the silver lining of this particular cloud is that I’ve spent a large chunk of my life finding ways to manage my wayward brain and reduce the friction it introduces into my daily life.

What this means for you, dear reader, is that I probably have something in my bag of tricks that can help you up your mental game, whether you identify as Neurodivergent (like me) or you’re just trying to cope with a world drowning in information.

I’d like to share what’s worked for me in the past, and also take you along on my journey to discover the latest advances in understanding about the brain, and how they can help us all level-up as humans.

What’s in a Name?

You’re probably thinking, “What an odd name for a website.”

Not really. Not if you’ve met me.

Certainly not if you met me more than a couple of years ago.

Why?

Well, in the past, I had a bit of a reputation.

One client told me, after a few months of working together, that he’d actually “warned” his boss about me before our first meeting! In hindsight, I’m sure that wasn’t the only time that happened, but he’s the only one who has owned up to doing it. So far.

Depending on your perspective, apparently, I have some “odd” behaviours. I also have some “odd” abilities. So you win some, you lose some.

My reputation (and the name of this site) came from my habit of walking into rooms (you know, meeting rooms, boardrooms, those kinds of rooms) and within a few minutes, I would be asking the equivalent of “whose elephant is that?”

This refers to the idiom of “the elephant in the room.” It’s a way of referring to the thing that - despite it often being hard to miss - no-one wants to talk about.

One of the things I’ve always been good at is rapid synthesis of lots of disparate information. A manifestation of this is spotting things that don’t fit the pattern, or that aren’t as described. They stand out to me like someone is shining a spotlight on them. When I spotted things like this, I would go right ahead and start talking about it, whatever it was. I would also completely miss many of the subtle - and not so subtle - cues to stop talking about it.

In some cases, that’s not such a bad thing. I like those cases. I work well in those cases. I can add value in those cases.

But in other cases, it could be what you might call a “career-limiter”. I’ve had my fair share of those too (although at the time I might not have known it).

Apparently, if you are the one who brought the metaphorical elephant into the room - or the one who it followed in - and you are currently praying no-one notices it, you might think it’s unhelpful to have someone point at it and ask loudly, “Hey, whose elephant is that?”

Either way, for the longest time, I couldn’t help myself from doing just that. Probably because I couldn’t see what was wrong with doing it. I like to be helpful. Pointing out something that people seem to be missing is helpful, right?

Neurodivergent? Me?

Fast forward to today, and I’m a bit more self- and world-aware. Actually, a lot more aware.

This has been a long, slow journey until a year or so ago, when it accelerated rapidly (like, Tesla “Insane Mode” rapid).

After 50 years on the planet, I discovered there might be an explanation for this and many other “quirks” that have been adding friction to my life and others since 1972.

It turns out, there’s a high probability that I’m autistic. For sure, I’m neurodivergent in one or more significant ways.

Once I made this discovery, a lot of things started making sense. I finally had a idea of why, at times, I’d felt like I was driving around with the parking brake on.

To be clear, before this discovery, I had less than no clue. Seriously (I’ll talk about why another time). But when I finally grasped it as a possibility, I felt more surprised than I did when I saw “The Sixth Sense” for the first time.

For me, pretty much every day since the discovery has contained at least one flashback that made me shocked no-one pointed it out before.

At the same time, when I tell people, “I might be autistic,” a common response is along the lines of, “my dog knew.”

Thanks, everyone!

No, seriously, thanks. Other than that potentially frustrating response (if it was so obvious, why did no-one say anything for 50 years?), everyone I’ve told so far has been super-supportive and understanding.

There has also been an outpouring of “me too,” type revelations that have been both heartwarming and distressing in equal measure.

Why “distressing”? Let’s just say that I’ve had a relatively easy journey by comparison to many people.

For me, most of the manifestations of my neurodivergence are not what you would call debilitating. I know this is not the case for a lot of people who are autistic or ADHD, and hearing those stories is both enlightening and upsetting.

Yes, I have my own forms of learning difficulties and social difficulties, but those challenges are often disguised by some of the more positive aspects.

This cover-up was so effective - and instinctual - that often I didn’t even notice there was an issue. So much so that I managed to get through 50 years without really wondering too deeply about why there was so much friction in certain circumstances. I concluded that maybe I wasn’t a people person, or I was lazy when it came to applying myself to learning.

As for the rest of the world, well, except for a couple of major blips during my education, the external signs weren’t severe enough for anyone to flag. In fact, quite the opposite. My early school years before college saw me earning spots in the top groups in all my classes.

Plus, for the longest time, autism and all the other neurospicy presentations had a pretty bad rep. So little was known about neurodivergence, and the general opinion of the various forms were so extreme, that there’s no way anyone would have pointed at me and said “hey, are you autistic?”

But these are different times. Neurodivergence in all its forms is a “real” thing now, thankfully.

There is much more known about it, and people talk about it openly. Again, thankfully.

Sadly, it’s still not totally safe to stick your head up above the parapet and proclaim that you are “Neurospicy AF” without fear of some sidelong glances or worse. But at least people like me can find and talk to other people like me, celebrate our similarities and our differences, and share our stories.

More importantly, people who are suffering from the effects of their own forms neurodivergence can finally get some help to ease that suffering.

Where this is heading

That brings us to today.

As I said, I like to be helpful. In this case, by helping myself, I can see an opportunity to help others. I’m particularly interested in how recent discoveries can reduce the friction of being neurodivergent in a neurotypical world.

I subscribe to the idea neurodivergence is not a pathology. It is a difference in brain wiring that leads to some cognitive tasks being easier or harder than the typical experience, and to being more or less sensitive to some experiences.

But these are all human experiences, regardless of your wiring. It’s just that they are amplified for neurodivergent people. This means that what’s helpful to neurodivergents should also be helpful to greater or lesser degrees for everyone.

So, if you are interested in seeing what your amazing brain can do when you let off the parking brake, join me.